Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Karma for Sale

I have had a ten hour work day. I skipped lunch and powered through to finish some cookbooks for a client at the print shop. I also printed the last project after a year long series of mini projects for a client's wedding. Her mother dropped by to pick up the name cards for the wedding reception in a few days.

From the same mother, I was handed a card thanking me for my design work and for helping them with thank you cards, programs, invitations and everything else in between. Inside was a gift certificate for a local restaurant.

I'm starting my post off to prove a point. I am a hard worker and dedicated to helping people. So why, why am I getting the short end of the stick? Within the last 24 hours, I have been denied not one, but two career opportunities. I felt in my heart and soul that either one of these would work out for me.

Neither did. I am so thankful for this blog. Recently I have been seeking refuge here to voice my excitement and yearning for a new direction. For a brief moment, I felt true clarity. "This is what I'm meant to do," I would think to myself. Why did I think I would receive an offer to both?

I would like to blame my generation and the way we were raised. Everyone is a winner. No one really "loses" when we are younger. You get a participation reward or something! So I find myself at a loss on how to deal with these rejections and what to do next.

As I was sitting in my car at the light a few minutes from my apartment, a homeless man stood in front of my car waving a sign that read, "Karma for Sale". I laughed at the irony and he rubbed his eyes to pretend he was crying after I shook my head.

He then walked on to the next car.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Aftermath

I kept my phone at my fingertips all day. I checked it every five minutes and refreshed my e-mail inbox as the nervousness grew throughout the day. Last week I passionately interviewed for a position I was absolutely certain I had nailed.

This insanity of checking my phone started almost 36 hours ago. I was told I would be hearing their decision yesterday on whether or not I was selected for the publishing assistant position. At the close of the business day last night, I held my breath.

Why didn't they call? What did I say wrong? Who makes the final decision? When are they going to call me? Where will this decision take me?

Today, it started all over, and by 4 p.m., I could no longer handle the uneasy pressure of the situation. They had said I would know something by Monday, right?!

I gathered the courage to send an e-mail. Another half hour passed. Refresh inbox. Nothing. Refresh, stupid inbox! Nothing. Suddenly, my phone vibrated to alert me of the e-mail that had just arrived.

"We regret to inform you that the position has been filled."

Now what?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Your Mom is on FB

When I was preparing to move off to college in the summer of 2005, I distinctly remember the moment I signed up for Facebook. Back then you actually had to have an e-mail address that ended with ".edu"!

It felt so exclusive. I thought to myself, "I am so elite!" Alas, six years later and I see high school students, parents, community members and family that I never imagined would have an FB account.

I'm sure this subject has been touched on before, but I will tell you my personal experience. I was horrified when I saw my mother wanted to add me as a friend. I thought, "Now I have to censor myself!"

And I did for a while. But she has surprised me with just as many comebacks and comments on my statutes that remind me of why we all need these social media outlets. I dare say that FB has made us closer as a family (with my blood-related family members as well as the family I married into).

When I once cringed at the thought of my mom seeing my status updates, I now look to FB to see what everyone is up to and then I make a phone call and find myself saying, "Did you see what so-and-so posted about blank?"

In a place that was created with such exclusivity, and a place I honestly thought was losing that power with the addition of high schoolers with Hotmail accounts, I am now grateful for the changes FB has made.

The social network has completely reinvented the way I interact with all of you. I'm so thankful for that!

Why do you love FB?

Blog idea by Chris Brogan

Art Imitating Life

Have you ever found one movie that truly speaks to you? I mean to where you compare every detail of your life and create links and meaning to every part of it? When I was younger, I remember taking the extremes of comparison with a little movie called Moulin Rouge.

Now before you go and start making fun of my movie choice, let me be very clear. I was in a time of my life that is completely opposite of my present one. I had no true love (my excuse: I was 15), a passion for singing broadway-style songs at the top of my lungs with music blaring from my dad's sound system from the 80s and felt very much alone.

I believe this was around nine years ago when I desperately wanted a boyfriend, true love and a movie-like life. Moulin Rouge had all of the aforementioned key elements. Like my current situation, the main character was infatuated with a love interest (Satine) who was completely unattainable.

In his quest for true love, he had crept around the squirrelly-looking financier (who thought the same woman was into him) while the dashing Ewan McGregor snatched up Nicole Kidman (Satine). Have I lost you yet?

In a story of impossible love, Satine chose the penniless writer over the wealthy financier. Then she died that same night. How horrible, right? That brought me back to reality and I realized this was not in comparison to my own life. Right when the unlikely character you rooted for the whole movie finally gets the girl, she dies of some obscure disease they vaguely mentioned throughout the film.

I wanted a boyfriend, but not that bad.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Anxiously Waiting

I had two job interviews last week, and I feel that both of them went well. I never really stopped looking for a (degree-related) job. Even at the print shop, I always had an eye out for something involving writing.

In January, within a few days, I found two opportunities. That's not actually true; I found one and tried to create another. At the school district I work for, a communications job was posted that caught my eye. I quickly applied and thought, this is perfect!

A few days later, I googled publishing firms in the area and found an amazing company that actually looked fun. I've heard the whole thing over and over about, "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life!"

So far I have not found that to be true. But after interviewing (for the second time) with the publishing firm, it really hit me that could be true for me someday soon. But back to the interviews.

The first one went great! I felt extremely qualified and the work environment offers plenty of growth and personal development. It offers an opportunity to learn the publishing industry from the ground up. I walked out of there feeling great, and then drove only ten minutes to my apartment. Saving on gas would be a definite plus!

The second one went equally as well and was scheduled only two days later. I was thrown some tricky questions and within a few minutes I realized I was not excited about this particular position. It has more to do with writing than the first, but there is absolutely no possibility for promotion.

The publishing job has a high chance of developing into something much more and previous assistants have moved into other departments in the company as a result of their hard work.

I've always worked hard and always had a goal. If there isn't a ladder, or a "next step", then what are you working towards? I am somewhat of a gamer, and "leveling up" feels awesome. There is a rush of accomplishment that comes with conquering each quest.

Come Monday, I will find out if either was a match for me. Landing one or the other position would be an automatic level up for me, but I crave more. I'm ready to take the first step.